I know this. Really, I do. It's the reason I stay in town when my friend Mario heads to Louisiana to go to the casinos with his friends. Pet care issues aside, why drive five hours just to lose money? Woudn't that money be better spent on yarn or ammo or new tires for my truck? My gambling track record is the reason why, when I do actually go into a casino, I have a firm $20 or $40 limit. Once that money is gone, so am I.
So why, I ask you, if I know that I'm a lousy gambler, do I continue to make bets with people. I've made two bets in the past three days, and I've lost both of them. I made the first bet because it was a bet of skill, not luck. I bet Mario that I could beat him in a bullseye pistol match. How could I lose? We're both excellent marksmen, but I've got my years of trapshooting competition under my belt. I've been in shoot-offs with some of the best shooters in Texas. I've already won, right? Bet on!
- Equipment: Thompson Center Contenders with 14" .17HMR barrels and custom made (by us) grips and forearms out of desert ironwood, both with Leupold gold ring pistol scopes.
- Target: A single sheet of target paper with five ringed bullseyes placed at 50 yds.
- Scoring: As marked for each ring of the bullseye (8/9/10) and 11 for the center circle. Five shots at each bullseye. Each bullseye is tallied up, and the winner of that bullseye gets a point.
- Stakes: The loser buys dinner that night.
For the first bullseye, we tied with 53 points (three center ring and two 10 rings). On the next two, Mario got me by one point - one stinking point! I had to win the next two bullseyes in order to tie. Didn't happen. I tied him on the fourth bullseye. At that point, I was shooting dead. I couldn't win, but I don't give up easy. On the fifth bullseye, I beat him by one point. All in all, a good match (all scores above 50), but I lost and had to buy dinner. Damn!
You would think with that loss so fresh in my mind, I would know better than to make another bet, but I was so sure about this one. My mom was poking around Ravelry this morning and found out that I have a blog and printed the pages so that Daddy could read them. So, I get this phone call this morning, and it's Mom. Daddy wants to talk to me about my blog.
He gets on the phone and asks me why I'm lying to the whole world. I'm searching my brain trying to think what I lied about. I gave him credit for helping with the spindles and the horse while he was here, I know I did. What could I possibly be lying about?!? Couldn't think of a thing, so I asked him... what are you talking about?
He asked me why I told everybody that rocking horse is made of 3" walnut when it's only 2. I've got him! I just know it's 3" walnut, and I tell him so. He said "wanna bet a cup of coffee on it". Uh oh. Beware. I'm sure I'm right, though, so I tell him it's a bet. With him on the phone, I walk out to the garage, take one look at the horse... and say a very bad word. He got me. It's only 2" thick.
So, apparently, I'm a liar as well as a lousy better. Who knew?!?
So that's it - I'm done. I'm not betting on anything anymore. Don't believe me, you say? You think I'll always succumb to betting on a can't lose sure thing? No way! Never again. Wanna bet on it?